R.A.D. Profile: Captain Grek

Captain Grek

Worminton Grekorey Thaddeus Von Splorkleson VIII is technically a native of Nasga. His grandparents were among the first to settle on Nasga following the spread of wormhole warp technology by the Yamfennians. The Nasgans have always been a warm welcoming people who happily accepted small numbers of immigrants from a multitude of worlds. Immigration had to be kept to a reasonable number in order to keep from rapidly overpopulating the planet. The Yamfennian warps opened up many worlds to trades, which made it possible for the more popular planets to accommodate an influx of population without overtaxing a planet’s natural resources. There was also an exchange program initiated wherein any being on a world that accepted immigrants would be offered a place on the world from which said immigrants were emigrating. This system opened up the possibility for great diversity throughout the universe. Though the offer was made to everyone on Nasga it was an extreme scarcity for anyone to actually accept. Nasga was a paradise planet and by far the most diverse in the universe. While many moved there permanently, there were even more who vacationed there regularly. Nasga was the superlative vacation place in the universe.

Grek’s people were originally from the planet Wemeselsim. Wemeselsimians are comparatively large. They’re not on the scale of The Tyrannical Tyrannosaurus Gregory LambaDambaBottom but are typically larger than most other species they encounter. They come in a variety of colors, most commonly green, red and orange with abstract designs on their backs. Grek is a dark green with orange circles and squiggly lines on his back. Wemeselsimians have a prehensile tail to go along with the soft fur that covers their hard, armor-like scales. They are very agile for their size and can naturally run, climb, jump and swim very well.

Grek also had the singularly Wemeselsimian trait of flagitation. When he found himself in a state of flagitation, or he became flagitated, he would be so angry he farted. Oh yeah, there are fart jokes. Don’t go anywhere. The etymology of flagitated is the combination of flatulence or flatus and agitated. They fart when they’re angry.

In spite of all his physical attributes, and that one disturbing detriment, Grek has always relied on his mental abilities more than physical prowess. Though he had only known advanced civilized civilizations that had done away with wars and violence generations ago, Grek had an affinity for old-fashioned military-based strategy games. He loved to outthink an opponent. He got to the point that he was so good that he had to play against the computers because no one would play with him. 

The only real outlet Grek could find for his leadership skills was as the regional manager for a string of luxury hotels called the Garnak Revolt And Spawn Luxury Hotel Conglomerate. People from all over the universe not only came to Nasga to vacation, but it was the perfect climate for having children, which, with all species, is gross, thus the ‘Spawn’ and ‘Revolt’ respectively in the title. Since Nasga was the vacation capital of the universe, hotels and resorts were big business and the competition was fierce. Grek’s natural affinity for strategy and leadership made him, and the Garnak Revolt And Spawn Luxury Hotel Conglomerate, very successful. He made the Garnak Revolt And Spawn Luxury Hotel Conglomerate a lot of money, which, in turn, made Grek a lot of money. Grek should have been happy, he was rich, successful, and greenishly handsome, for a Wemeselsimian, but something was missing.

Grek wanted to do something that would challenge him. Running a successful resort conglomerate on the universe’s premier vacation planet was easy. Even the worst, cheapest, sleaziest motels on the planet were wildly successful. Beating out the second best hotel conglomerate on the planet was easy. Rontuian Lavishly Opulent Hotels & Resort Accommodation Company was a distant second. Come on, ‘lavish’ and ‘opulent’ mean the same thing. Who are they fooling? The word ‘company’ doesn’t sound nearly as imposing or impressive as ‘conglomerate.’ Their narktopuloid baths didn’t even use real narktopuloid. They use that cheap synthetic stuff made on Mubatuhackfadah. Most importantly they didn’t have the universally, literally, known and trusted name of Garnak. 

Grek yearned for action and adventure. When it finally came he would have given anything to go back to being the regional manager for the Garnak Revolt And Spawn Luxury Hotel Conglomerate.

It was a beautiful sunny day, with a mere four or five clouds in the sky, when The Tyrannical Tyrannosaurus Gregory LambaDambaBottom dropped his first exploding bomb. He had experimented with non-exploding bombs, but he found they didn’t do as much damage as quickly, nor did they evoke the same fear. That first exploding bomb exploded on one of the Garnak Revolt And Spawn Luxury Hotel Conglomerate’s busiest luxury hotels. The hotel exploded right along with the bomb. The damage was catastrophic. Worse, the whole planet went into a state of terrified pandemonium. Very few people on Nasga had seen such an act of destruction. Most had never seen an explosion at all or even heard of a bomb. 

Nasga was swiftly conquered. The Nasgans succumbed to the will of their new ruler, The Tyrannical Tyrannosaurus Gregory LambaDambaBottom. Anyone who wasn’t quick to conform to the new rules set down by 3T.G.L.D.B. was imprisoned and forced into slavery. Those who did submit were either initiated as 3T.G.L.D.B. cronies or forced to work for ridiculously low wages.

All inhabitants of the planet, now known as LambaBad, were split into two categories. There were the scientist and engineers and the physical labour. It used to be spelled ‘labor,’ but 3T.G.L.D.B. preferred the English spelling and, as one of his first acts, had it changed. The scientists and engineers were sequestered at the new warehouses 3T.G.L.D.B. had built. There they worked on new weapons, robots, which are called Lambots, and a fleet of starships 3T.G.L.D.B. could use for further domination of the universe. The physical labour was forced down into the uranium mines to grow bananas. Wait… No, they were sent into the uranium mines to mine uranium. That sounds better, not for the people doing it, but for the story. The uranium was to be used to create more powerful weapons and to power the fleet. 

Grek’s size alone was enough to decide his fate as physical labour. He spent his days slaving away in the uranium mines. He spent his nights crammed into a cell that was much too small for him. He wasn’t one of those who submitted, so he was forced into slavery, which meant he wasn’t paid and he didn’t get to go to one of the slave camps. 

One day, coincidentally, it was a day much like today, Grek was being led to the mines with the other slaves working in his sector. It was the normal grueling routine. They were all chained together and forced to march under the supervision of Lambad, formerly Nasgan, guards. Without any warning, six rocks rolled down a mountain and knocked the guards to the ground. At first, the workers were so stunned they didn’t do anything. As one of the guards started to rise, Grek realized what was happening and smacked the guard with his tail and knocked him into another guard who was trying to get up. 

Grek had heard the rumors about a group of eyeballs who had broken free and escaped into the wilderness, but he didn’t believe it. Now that an eyeball, which he had mistaken for a rock, had taken the controls from an unconscious guard and was unlocking the chains, he began to think there might be some validity to the story.

Grek looked around and counted six Yortians urging the now freed slaves to follow them into the wilderness. Three of the guards had gotten back up and were trying to subdue the slaves, but Grek did some fancy fighting moves and took them out. Actually, he just grabbed one with his tail and shook him back and forth knocking him repeatedly into the other two. It was more slapstick than fancy. After that, all the guards who were still conscious just ran away. They had never encountered a slave who wasn’t submissive and didn’t know how to handle it.

The group fled into the wilderness until they felt there was no further danger of being pursued. In the days that followed, the idea of rebellion began to be bandied around. The Yortians had no real plan. They had only recently escaped and saw an opportunity to free more helpless victims from the tyranny of The Tyrannical Tyrannosaurus Gregory LambaDambaBottom. This first attempt was a resounding success, but further attempts, especially when the Lambads may be aware of them, may not be as successful. It was true that they now had more participants, but that could also make them more detectable. 

The first order of business was to nurse the starved and exhausted former slaves back to health. None of them could play any part in a rebellion, or even a single rescue operation, in their current state. They then commenced discussing strategies. It was obvious they couldn’t follow the same plan every time. Security was sure to be heightened and the first thing they would be watching for is the rolling rock play. 

Grek dominated the majority of the strategy meetings. He was relishing his role as strategist and the opportunity to discuss all his strategies with others. The whole time he was in captivity he was formulating strategies to rebel but had neither the means nor the people to execute them. Now, he had both. His mind raced and new strategies were conceived too rapidly for him to relay them. He spoke so rapidly, as he sketched his plans on nigk tree leaves, that his companions couldn’t keep up.  There’s no dirt on Nasga on which to draw. It’s a very clean paradise planet. Can you imagine dirt in paradise? Yeah, it wouldn’t be paradise. It would be dirty.

It didn’t take many strategy meetings before Grek was elected leader of this band of weary rebels. He reluctantly accepted. He loved coming up with the strategies, but he was wary of sending his people out to actually confront the Lambads. His plans were strategically sound, but they weren’t tested. A lot can happen between strategy and execution. He could overestimate his people’s abilities. He could underestimate the Lambads’ abilities. Someone could trip at the wrong time and the whole plan could be blown. He could, in theory, be sending his people out with the perfect plan, but, in reality, be sending them back into slavery or even to their deaths. That thought sickened and terrified him. In the end, they convinced him that he was the best Wemeselsimian for the job and they had a much better chance with him than they did without him leading them.

As the successful rescue missions accumulated, Grek’s confidence grew. His strategies started to get even more elaborate. Of course, on the other side, the defensive strategies became more elaborate and guard details expanded from a few to a score or more. Soon, the Lambads’ countermeasures grew to the point where some of Grek’s strategies failed. It helped a little for Grek to know that the good he was doing greatly outweighed the losses. Everyone who went on a rescue mission was a volunteer who knew the risks they faced. He still hated to lose people even more than he detested the failure of one of his missions.

When he had compiled enough successful missions, Grek wanted to get bold. There had been rumors of 3T.G.L.D.B. having warehouses built where he was forcing scientists and engineers to build weapons, robots, and a fleet of battleships. Following some of the rescue missions, rebels reported encountering some new Lambots, which gave some verisimilitude to the rumors. Grek decided that his troops were trained and experienced enough to hit a warehouse and get some actual weapons.

There was no shortage of volunteers or enthusiasm for the mission. Given the highly delicate and dangerous nature of the mission, Grek decided to lead it himself. He couldn’t send his people into such a perilous scenario while he was safely hidden in the wilderness. If anything were to go wrong, having him there to quickly reassess the situation and come up with a new strategy could be paramount to the potential success of the mission. 

This is a profile, not an adventure story, so I’ll just say that the mission was more successful than anyone could have hoped. Grek met one of the scientists who was forced to work in the warehouses. The Yamfennian scientist confirmed the rumor that they were building a fleet. Grek floated the idea of commandeering a ship. The scientist was all for the idea. She told Grek they could do it in three plaros. They couldn’t wait too long. 3T.G.L.D.B. was already planning an exit of his own. On top of that, the more they spread the word the more likely it was that 3T.G.L.D.B. would learn of their plan. The scientist said she would spread the word and load the selected ship with all the supplies and technology they could. Meanwhile, Grek would ramp up rescue missions and free all the people possible.

In three plaros time, the rebels sneaked back into the warehouse where they rendezvoused with the scientists. The scientists got the ship as loaded as they could without arousing suspicion. They even found a pilot. Grek had heard of him as the Garnak Revolt And Spawn Luxury Hotel Conglomerate sponsored his racing pod, before the invasion. He didn’t have the greatest confidence in the pilot since he was known to crash more often than he finished races. Grek didn’t assume authority over the scientist and he was indebted to them for all they had done to facilitate this escape, so he acquiesced to the little Yortian scientist’s nominee. He even personally led the mission to free him.

The chosen pilot was much more than just a pod racer. Grek had to admit that his résumé was impressive. In addition to his pod racing, this pilot had been a cruise ship pilot and a cargo ship pilot. He had no casualties on his record. In fact, he had actually briefly been a semi-pseudo-celebrity for rescuing a stranded traveler floating in space. 

Grek’s fears were both circumvented and realized. The pilot, George, got them to a habitable planet, safely might be the wrong word, alive. The ship would never fly again, nor was it in a condition that could be identifiable as a ship, but everyone survived. The rough landing wasn’t all George's fault. They were pursued by another ship, full of Lambads and Lambots, the whole way. George did a tremendous job of getting them to a planet which could sustain carbon-based life forms without being apprehended or destroyed in space. All things considered, he did a great job. The Lambads also crash-landed on the planet and also survived.

Grek had to assume some of the responsibility for the happenings of the voyage as well. Before they even launched, Grek was chosen to be the captain. His contribution to the success of the escape and his leadership skills were recognized and he was the obvious choice.

The first thing Captain Grek did, once they were assimilated into the societies of Earth, was to set up the Refugee Alien Defenders. He felt responsible for bringing the Lambads to Earth. He would not allow them to regroup and leave the defense of this beautiful planet to the strange creatures of Earth. The Earth creatures had an affinity for violence but were technologically inferior. They barely even used solar power. They used something called ‘fossil fuels,’ which were apparently made from the decaying of deceased plant life and organisms from millions of years prior. They probably died out because they didn’t use solar power either. 

Captain Grek was determined that this planet would not succumb to the same fate as Nasga. He split R.A.D. into at least one faction per continent. Each faction’s top priority was to guard against a Lambad invasion. Their second priority was to round up the rogue Lambads who were now loose on Earth. They knew that the Lambad ship was also damaged to the point that it would never fly again, but they didn’t know the state of their communications. It was imperative that they collect all the loose Lambads before they could establish communications with 3T.G.L.D.B. and initiate an invasion of Earth.

Before the split, all the scientists, engineers, and anyone physically able was put to work salvaging everything they could from the wreckage of their commandeered mothership. The scientists and engineers set to work designing and creating headquarters for each division of R.A.D. The refugees who were mechanically skilled put together the machinery. Those less scientifically minded did the heavy lifting and building of the headquarters.

Captain Grek assigned leaders to each division on each continent. The captain of every division was to be of equal rank with Captain Grek. All of R.A.D. would cooperate when appropriate, but would predominantly act as its own entity. There was no one individual who oversaw the entirety of R.A.D. The captains would meet frequently to make all organizational decisions, with each captain having equal input. Captain Grek was to be in charge of the North American chapter. He handpicked a few of the refugees who played important roles in their exodus from LambaBad and worked directly with him to remain under his command.

Every single refugee went through rigorous testing and training before it was determined to which division they would be assigned. They were all known to be capable and resourceful. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t have survived this long. Every one of the refugees now on Earth was part of the rebellion on Nasga and they all played a significant role in their escape. There were still some who showed more aptitude in certain areas than others. The goal of the creation of R.A.D. was to make each division as strong as possible. Every individual’s strengths and weaknesses had to compliment or counterbalance the rest of their division.

From there, each division of R.A.D. was divided into squads that would perform various missions. There was an attempt to find a balance between the squads, as within the divisions. Despite all attempts to create near-perfect units, there were always those who didn’t work well with others for various reasons. Perhaps they were too cavalier or anti-social or they smelled bad. The squads were to be ranked A-L. The degree of mission difficulty determined which squad would be assigned to the mission, with the most challenging going to the A Squad and the easiest missions being assigned to the L Squad. 

It took a long time to get everything set up and running smoothly, but it happened. These refugees crash-landed on a new planet and were able to be accepted, sort of, and create a system of defense for the whole planet. Now, they just had to hope they did it in time.